How do i say it ...

How do i tell you i miss you so?

how do i say love is what i feel?

how do i make you understand -

that i do need the love of a friend?

How do i tell you i hope this wait will soon end?

how do i say i want to be in the arms of my friend?

how do i make you understand -

that i do need your tender, loving care, dear friend?

How do i tell you that i care?

how do i say i love you, dear friend?

how do i make you understand -

that i do need to be hugged and loved by my friend?

How do i tell you my heart longs to be with you?

how do i say it's the mind that's keeping you at bay?

how do i make you understand -

that i do need a chance to show that i care?

How do i tell you i'll wilt and i'll die -

if love's to be further denied?

how do i say that i was thrilled by your touch -

and yearn for your kiss as well?

oh how do i make you understand -

that i need you as much as you do me, dear friend?

How do i tell you all these, and look you in the eye?

how do i say i need you, and not feel shy?

oh how do i make you understand -

this silly self of mine, dear, dear friend?

how do i make you understand -

how the little heart flutters when you walk by?

and how it weeps and cries each time you're unkind?

and how it will die - if your love you still deny ...?

"Big girls don't cry ..."

Can a woman go thru' so much -

and not even feel a quiver,

or let off a sigh,

as he walks by ...?

Can she pass by the garden,

or look into the room -

without feeling a tinge of nostalgia,

or having a good cry ...?

Can she sit by the phone,

and just watch the arms of the clock

go ticking by -

without the urge to pick it up,

and hear it ring,

wait for the pause,

and then the "Hi!" ...?

Can she just turn her head away -

when he passes by,

or swallow each bite -

without feeling his eyes ...?

Can she see the moon -

and not remember what had gone by ...?

see the familiar writing -

and not remember what it had signified ...?

Can she just laugh things off,

and let out a sigh,

tell herself it's silly to cry -

just 'coz he had said

he won't be coming by -

that it was all a matter of weakness,

and that she should let history die -

stay buried and dry,

and let memories just pass by -

'Coz he had said she shouldn't cry ...?

A friendship is easy to come by,

a relationship is no more after a try -

he's just trying to imply:

"That big girls don't cry ..."

So she shouldn't let him make her cry;

well, she's not complaining, nor even asking why,

if she must, she'll give it a try -

and he'll not know if she had to cry ...

'Coz "big girls don't cry" -

so she'll not cry,

nor even ask why;

she'll just cry -

if she feels like having a good cry ...

But she won't ask him why -

she was born a woman, that's why,

and a woman is left

to pick up the shattered pieces,

when a dream went by -

and feelings die ...

To await another when the party's ended

is the job alloted the guy,

so a woman won't ask why:

she knows what she's worth, that's why ...

she knows a guy

will not want to be tied down,

to answer why -

so a guy will not be asked

to stand by

when the river runs dry ...

'Coz a woman understands,

she won't ask why -

to live with memories she'll try

'Coz to forget is to let the old heart die ...

A matter of trust?

I placed my trust in the sun -
'coz of its warmth and its charm,
but away i must run -
'coz its touch has its harm ...
I was swayed by the moon -
it was so bright i could swoon,
but realised not quite so soon -
it is also shrouded with gloom ...
I was touched by the sweet words of romance -
'coz they're what a lonely heart craves to hear,
but had to put a stop to all the romance -
'coz what the heart craves, others cannot bear ...
I've thought of things that i can do -
and others that i have to refrain from: can't do,
i've done what is right and true, and just -
and nostalgic feelings kept at bay, or adjust ...
Hence, upon myself, i've placed my trust -
for i know what i should do, and must:
whatever is dear, in my heart, a treasure chest, i entrust -
for others' sake, not just mine, therefore i must ...
So, i will no longer look at the moon
it reminds me of my wounds
of a place beneath the moon
where lovers come to spoon ...

Conceal thy thoughts ...

What one feels,
none will be aware -
if one does not, one one's face,
display one's wares ...
What one thinks,
none will ever get to know -
if one does not shelve one's thoughts,
neatly in a row ...
What one is capable of,
others won't even guess -
unless one is put
to the test!
What one does not write,
others will never know -
save if they are close,
and one's feelings do show ...

Responsibilities, still ...

Happiness is what i feel -
at a sight on which my thoughts had long been filled ...
it's not important what he thinks i feel -
but what misery that sight had healed,
neither is it important that he knows what i feel -
'coz by that sight i had nothing revealed ...
I suppose he cares not how i feel -
well? ill? or caring, still ...?
it's not what i may feel -
but responsibilities, still,
that's gonna have this friendship killed -
and, in its place, numbness to instil ...
It's not what or how we may feel -
that's gonna change the deal:
though friendship has to be checked, and feelings killed,
memories will still prevail ...
so ... my thoughts i'll not reveal,
the pain i'll just conceal ...

If you love somebody - let her know ...

If you love somebody - let her know,
if you don't - it's still better that she knows:
for it's better to be sad, 'coz of knowing,
than to be falsely glad, 'coz of not knowing ...
I was glad to know that someone had once felt something -
tho' it's sad to know i said what killed that feeling something;
anyway, i was glad i was told, and let known -
in a way it checked what i would have told, and made known ...
Now i'll just say:i'll no longer care, what i used to care ,
no longer dare, my thoughts and feelings air:
for knowing that others care not, what i care,
had left the old heart so barren ... and so dry ...

Dedicated to a friend so dear

Dear friend,
How can a heart resist -
if every nerve insists ...?
how can i refuse to admit -
that i like you, much more than a bit ...?
How can any eye stop searching -
if it's for something so pleasing ...?
how can any lip stop returning -
those smiles given so generously, without the asking ...?
How can i stop another's heart -
from getting hurt?
how can i tell another to be on the alert -
when, to my own heart, i'm not curt?
But, how can i bear to end -
the love i have for a friend?
how can i turn my head away -
from the gallant hero of today?
So, come what come may -
our friendship is here to stay:
sweet moments, for a week, we'll share -
then to depart, each to each's own cares ...

When a friend comes calling ...

When a friend is not around -
i miss him,
when he is miles away -
i think of him,
and my heart follows him ...
But when my friend comes a-calling -
i still miss him,
'coz when he comes calling, i'm thinking:
this might soon be the last time
he'll come calling ...
I have tried not to love my friend
much too dearly,
'coz i know if i give him a place in my heart
i'll miss him dearly,
and no one's gonna fill that place, really ...
I've been counting days lately -
but that's nothing new, really
for oft a friend has made life taste so sweetly -
then to depart, so, so, suddenly,
and i am left missing him so painfully ...
I have a word i wish to say, so, so, sincerely:
when you're feeling blue, or gloomy,
just remember me - i've always made you laugh, so cheerfully,
when you're feeling lonely, or unhappy,
just remember someone still loves you, truly -
for all the thoughtful little things that you've done, so naturally,
will all be remembered, all too clearly,
and you'll be missed, so, so, wretchedly ...

Remember me - as i do you ...

I'll remember you - you found me when i was blue
i'll remember you - for all the kind things that you do
i'll remember you - for all the love that you've shown
i'll remember you - for being a friend so true ...
'Coz remembering you - makes bad things look okay
remembering you - helps drive troubles away
remembering you - is something i'll always do
'Coz remembering you - tells me someone loves me true ...
Remember me - i sure hope you do
remember me - when skies are blue
remember me - when rose buds bloom
just remember me - 'coz i'll remember you ...
When rose buds bloom
or when troubles loom ...
when rose petals fade
or when your heart aches ...
when yellow chrysanthemums are considered a fake
or when you lay awake ...
Just remember me - 'coz i'll be remembering you
just remember someone loves you, too
for all the nice things that you do
for making a lady's wish come true ...

If it is to be, it is up to me ...

Is our friendship going to be
like a hair-style that follows the trend?
or is it meant to be
like friendships should have been, dear friend?
Will it grow to be
like an old oak tree, shady and ever green?
will it out-live the sun
and be full of fun?
or will it run like dye
and be like the fly, after a day of living, do die?
Will it be able to stand the lashings of harsh tongues
and sail safely through a hailstorm of norms?
will it be able to bear when friends horn, scoot, and scorn
as our feelings grow strong, wholesome as an acorn?
When that happens, should we stop,
and at the door to our hearts, station a cop?
is it more important, society for to please
or with one's owself, be at peace?
our own feelings, put at ease
to society's wagging tongues, care the least?
But society will not make me turn tail, grow pale, or show my heels
for this is what i feel:
if friendship is to be proven true,
it is up to you;
if friendship is to be,
it is up to me ...

The deal

Shall i spoil the deal

that i will no longer my thoughts reveal?

or shall i keep up with the deal

and not say how i really feel?

Is it wise that i should act cool,

calm as a frozen pool?

of do i discard the warm wool,

and drown in my own tearful pool?

Should i reveal the truth,

nothing but the real plain truth?

or do i go on reeling and raving,

and betray my own true feelings?

Should i live like a martyr,

and die an unhappy hypocrite?

or should i be my own master,

and die 'condemned', but satisfied?

Must i conform,

to social norms?

or do i the world inform

that i'll set new reforms?

But then, do i have a conscience,

that i do return good deeds with ill?

what then, would say my conscience

if i do act so ill?

Long enough ...

I have loved someone long enough -
to forgive any bad thing that he does;
for i have known him long enough -
to know what he did he had done out of love, not lust;
I have nursed a hope long enough -
that one day, on the same path, friends would be cast;
i have cherished a dream long enough -
to wait for it to take shape, and materialise, at last ...
I have realised what i know i must:
that i'll still my life place in his trust;
i have tasted life long enough -
to know that only memories'll last:
When dreams are ground into dust,
and feelings are in moulds of iron cast;
when the world is nothing but decay and rust,
and hope lay like pieces of broken glass ...

A woman's pride

Once i used to treasure -

a woman's pride,

but now i love my friends -

more than my pride;

So, i'll be in Penang -

at high tide,

to see a friend -

to hell with my pride!

Older and wiser

Once i thought a smile is full of warmth -

but now, i might just wonder ...

once i thought people will tell the truth -

but now, i'm apt to ponder ...

once i thought i was a good judge of character -

but now, i'm left to wonder ...

once i thought only pride and principles do matter -

but now, i know i have neither ...

Nothing is the way it seems ...

I was swayed by the moon -
it was so bright i could swoon ...
but realised not quite so soon - it is also shrouded with gloom ...
I will no longer look at the moon -
it reminds me of my wounds ...
of a place beneath the moon -
where lovers come to spoon ...

Conflicting tales

I wish i knew, what's right, what's wrong,

but then, i know i knew what's right and wrong,

it's just that my feelings are still

so strong,

that is what's so wrong,

my feelings - they're still so strong

and memories - they still linger on ...

What's right can be wrong

It wasn't right, it's true

and i shouldn't, i knew

but my feelings are troubled anew

when sunlight cleared the hue, the dew

and singled out a face, among a few ...

when i realised it's you -

memories came flooding back, anew

that self-same smile had memories renewed

and the music played, anew ...

By friendship and morals torn

It's not that i'm apt to feel forlorn -

but coz i'm by friendship and morals torn;

it's not that i'm pricked bya thorn -

but coz misery had my feelings worn;

it's not that i don't grieve for long -

but coz friends demand i bring my smiles along;

it's not that i care no more -

but coz i can't - no, not any more ...

what is there left in life ...?

What is the meaning of life,

if it's nothing but strife upon strife?

what pleasure do i get out of life,

if it's just for fame and wealth to strive?

What care i of riches, power, or fame

when everything's planned, wieghed down and tamed?

If i care for little touches of humanity,

simple pleasures, acts of caring ... and sharing;

if i refuse to conform, and be the same,

am i then considered 'insane' ...?

Now i care not what the world has to say

i'll go on living life my way:

under no pressure will i waver or sway,

my decisions - they're all here to stay

For, knowing that one other heart feels the same way

gives enough courage

and consolation

to make life worth living, again!

life's but a sad, sad, song

Finally ... it came ...:

the end - of all my hopes ...

and all my dreams ...

the final, irretrievable end.

The calm that comes

when the storm of life is gone

when nought's worth fighting for

the calm of acceptance ... the calm of defeat ...

The truth that finally dawned

that life is but a sad, sad, song

that leaves a bitterness so long

after the bitter truth has dawned ...

I'm that little fly

that seeks the warmth of the golden sun

alone against the wrath of the big, big storm

i yearn for the golden clime beyond ...

Now the truth does dawn:

how futile, against such odds to storm

a little heart ... forbidden loves ... forlorn ...

a silent, willess acceptance ... to conform ...?

How futile to fly against the storm:

my little limbs are worn; my little wings all torn;

in silence i fold my battered wings ... to concorm ...?

in calm silence i await the bitter dawn ...

Responsibilities, still

Happiness is what i feel
at a sight on which my thoughts had long been filled
it's not important what he thinks i feel
but what misery that sight had healed ...
neither is it important that he knows what i feel
coz by that sight i had nothing revealed ...
I suppose he cares not how i feel -
well? ill? or caring still?
it's not what i may feel
but responsibilities, still
that's gonna have this friendship killed
and in its place, numbness to instill ...
It's not what or how we may feel
that's gonna change the deal:
though friendship has to be checked and feelings killed
memories will still prevail;
so ... my thoughts i'll not reveal
the pain i'll just conceal ...

The cycle of life

The path of life

is never smooth,

Each stage reveals

the surprises that life has

in store for each of us ...

Nevertheless,

live a full life of adventure:

Try everything that comes your way ...

strife to be the person of your dreams -

For, at least, you've got the experience,

if not the dream ...

http://www.woodheys.trafford.sch.uk/

memories

"This is a photograph of me.
If you look carefully, you'll be able to see me..."
Taking a whiff of the sweet flowers,
Or chewing on the juicy leaves...
Crawling along the branches,
Or hiding among the roots...