I've not felt like this
for a long, long time -
(something like for the past
one and a half months...)
i've not felt so miserable
and so, so, unconsoleably sad
for a long, long time...
I just wish i could cry...
but i can't - i just can't
i've grown that armour, that shell,
that shield around me again...
hardened on the outside,
vulnerable inside -
and find it an effort to even force a smile...
I've been sad and miserable before -
so it makes no difference to be sad
or miserable one last time -
till the next last time comes...
